I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
