I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
