Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
