everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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