I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
