I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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