I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
