as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
