it wasn't lemon gatorade
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize