Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
