I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What a dumb baby whore.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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