That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
