I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
