You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
