Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
