i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize