who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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