so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
