is this the sara with the beer cane?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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