Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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