the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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