I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
