the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
