Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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