We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
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god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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