i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
