I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
