I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is my gift to your gina
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
