dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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