im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize