Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
