its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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