oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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