she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just found puke in my bra..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
