do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
