WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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