I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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