I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
