A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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