Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had sex on a roof
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize