Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
