I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
