you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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