How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
