he wants to bone in the snuggie
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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