I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
