Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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