those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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