I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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