You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
