belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
