She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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