soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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