Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
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