the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
