ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
