he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
