Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
