Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
