think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
